a big fight this morning -- about washing up, ridiculously.
sometimes I do feel very tired and stressed, after work, the trading business, study, housework, cooking, laundtry, washing up. I am trying to be supportive to him, to help him save money, to share the cost of living but I am not a robot.
I suddenly realized what I have done has not been appreciated by him at all. all I was rewarded is complainning. and he was saying then dont cook --- I cook a lot now because we can not afford to go out for dinner even on the weekend and I cook to give him good food and save him money -- all of this he is not appreciating, how sad I am! I am doing this and that without complaining but he is even complaining about such small things like taking my cups to kitchen ---is this so called mutual respect? is this so called love?
Life overseas is not easy for me as a foreigner emotionally already, plus big pressures from work, plus we dont see the security for future life economically, plus now, he is not willing to do anything for me and he is expecting me to do everything. Sometimes i really wonder how much more I can take on.
John, if you see this, I want you to understand, to love you is not an easy thing. I am doing the best.